Chapter 2

The Birth

The Hardest Thing I’ve Ever Done — and the Easiest Love I’ve Ever Known.

They say no two birth stories are alike.
I never thought labor would be easy — I knew, from every story I’d ever heard, that it would be a whole new kind of challenge.

But knowing it… and living it… were two very different things.

What came next tested my strength, my spirit, and my heart in ways I couldn’t have imagined — even after nine months of preparation.

It wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t painless.

But it was ours.
And it ended with the most beautiful beginning of all.

The Calm Before the Chaos

After months of smooth sailing, part of me wondered if birth would be the same — a little intense maybe, but manageable.
I knew labor wouldn’t be easy, but I wasn’t prepared for how quietly it all began.

No dramatic gush of water like in the movies.
Just a small, almost uncertain trickle — like my body was whispering, “It’s time.”

We rushed to the hospital, hearts pounding, bags half-packed, nerves everywhere.
This was it. Ready or not, we were about to meet him.

The “I Don’t Need Drugs” Phase

I started strong.
I had read the books. I had made my mind up.
Natural birth, no pain meds — I was determined.

Then the contractions started.
And kept coming.
No gentle build-up. No time to breathe.

Wave after wave, crashing harder and harder, until somewhere between contraction number three and “I think I’m dying,” my birth plan went straight out the window.

I found myself praying for every drug they could legally offer.

Meanwhile, my poor partner — not allowed in yet — was yelling at the nurses, convinced I must already be delivering.
In the middle of a contraction, I had to call him just to calm him down, gasping out, “Not yet… still dying a little, but not pushing yet.”

The Battle in the Delivery Room

By the time they wheeled me into the labor room, my body was exhausted beyond anything I had ever known.
And I wasn’t even halfway through.

When it finally came time to push, I dug into reserves of strength I didn’t even know I had.
Push after push. Breath after breath.
There were moments I thought: “I can’t do this.”

Then the doctor’s calm voice cut through the chaos —
“He’s stuck. We need to intervene.”

In a blur, they performed a cut, used forceps, and everything I had imagined about birth flew out the window.
There was no perfect moment — just raw survival, grit, and the fierce need to bring him safely into the world.

The First Meeting

And then, after what felt like an endless battle, he was there.
Warm, tiny, breathing against my chest.

In that instant, the pain blurred into something else entirely — love.
Love bigger than anything I had ever known.

Our first meeting was short — I had to be rushed into surgery to repair a third-degree tear.
But later that evening, reunited, I spent the night just staring at him.

Counting eyelashes.
Memorizing the curve of his nose.
Feeling my whole world rearrange itself around him.

He was perfect.
And somehow, so was this messy, beautiful, exhausting, unforgettable beginning.

Birth Preparation Essentials

Lessons I learned when my birth plan met real life.

**”Every birth is different — but if there’s one thing I learned, it’s that being a little prepared can make a huge difference.
Even when things don’t go exactly to plan (and they often don’t), a few thoughtful steps beforehand can help ease the chaos and keep your focus on what matters most: meeting your baby.

Here’s what I learned, what helped, and what I wish I had known before my labor journey began…”**

For you

Comfy, loose clothes for after birth (you won’t want anything tight)

Nursing bra (even if you’re undecided — options are nice!)

Toiletries – toothbrush, face cloth, dry shampoo, deodorant

Lip balm + water bottle – hospital air is dry, and you’ll be so thirsty

Snacks for recovery – fruit bars, trail mix, crackers

Maternity pads – hospital may supply, but bring extras just in case

Phone charger – long cable = life saver

Folder for paperwork – baby’s documents, discharge notes, ID

for Baby

2–3 newborn outfits (zip-up onesies are your best friend)

Swaddle or baby blanket – soft and cozy

Mittens or socks – those little nails are sharper than you’d think!

Newborn hat – hospitals can be chilly

Diapers & wipes – most hospitals provide, but backups never hurt

Burp cloth or muslin square – comes in handy more than you expect

Car seat – properly installed ahead of time

Don’t overpack — newborns don’t need much except warmth, snuggles, and love.

Labor & Delivery Basics

What I wish I knew — and what you might experience along the way

A Little Note First…

Every labor is unique — no two stories are the same.
This isn’t medical advice — just a few things I experienced (and a few I wish someone had told me sooner).
Always trust your body, your instincts, and your care team.

How Labor Might Start

Labor doesn’t always come with a bang.
Sometimes it begins with:

  • A steady trickle of fluid (your water breaking)
  • Mild but persistent cramping
  • A dull backache that doesn’t go away
  • A deep gut feeling that something’s different

Tip: If you’re unsure whether it’s really labor, call your healthcare provider. No question is too small when it comes to you and your baby.

Contractions: What They Might Feel Like

Contractions often start mild and spaced out — maybe every 15–20 minutes — and then grow stronger, closer together, and more intense.

They can feel like:

  • Tightening across your belly
  • Deep cramping or pressure
  • A wave building and crashing

Real Talk: You’ll probably know you’re in true labor when you can’t talk or walk through a contraction — you’ll need to breathe through it instead.

The Urge to Push: When Your Body Takes Over

There’s a moment in many labors when your body simply decides: “It’s time.”
It’s not something you control — it’s instinct, pure and powerful.

As your baby moves lower into the birth canal, you might feel an overwhelming pressure — like you absolutely have to push — even before anyone tells you to.
It feels similar to needing a big bowel movement (but much stronger and deeper).

Real talk: It can be surprising, intense, and completely unstoppable.
Trust it. Your body knows exactly what it’s doing.

Not every mama feels the pushing urge the same way (especially if you’ve had strong pain relief), but if you do — breathe, trust, and know you’re so close to meeting your baby.

Pain Management: Plans vs Reality

I went in with a plan.
Reality handed me contractions that didn’t let me catch my breath.
Plans change — and that’s okay.

You might choose to:

  • Labor naturally
  • Try gas & air
  • Request an epidural
  • Ask for every pain option on the menu

All choices are valid.
Birth isn’t about proving how tough you are — it’s about doing what you need to safely bring your baby into the world.

You’re strong whether you labor quietly or scream the roof down. There’s no one right way to be brave.

How Partners Can Help (and Feel Helpful)

Partners often feel helpless during labor, but they have an important role.
Here’s what truly made a difference for me:

  • Staying calm when I couldn’t
  • Offering sips of water or snacks
  • Holding my hand (sometimes just being silent and present)
  • Advocating for me when I was too exhausted to ask for what I needed

Little Reminder: They don’t have to fix anything.
Their love and quiet strength is more powerful than they realize.

Birth Plans Are Beautiful — But Birth Is Wild

It’s wonderful to plan your ideal birth.
It’s even more wonderful to give yourself permission to adapt when life demands it.

You might labor for hours… or just minutes.

You might push for ten minutes… or two hours.

You might need help you didn’t expect.

Mama mantra: Your story — however wild, however messy — will still be beautiful.